My Leg Bone’s Connected to My Ego Bone…

I’m in my sixties, plain and plump, with graying hair that lost its silky luster long ago. Any shred of youthful “cuteness” I ever had seems to have melted away, leaving me in the position of being rather blah and nondescript. I’m okay with aging, except for the “plump” part, but I’m working on that.

Anyone who can relate knows that compliments about our appearance can become more or less extinct as the years pile on. Gravity takes its toll, pulling on parts that were once firm, and making them saggy and gelatinous. The gleam in our eyes becomes the glint of our cataract implant lenses. Nobody, it seems, ever says, “Gee, you’ve got nice…anything…” anymore.

And so, now that the stage of my life is set for you…

We were at the airport waiting to say goodbye to my daughter and her family who live overseas. My four-year-old grandson tagged me and shouted gleefully, “Chase me, Grandma!”

Two quick steps into the chase my knee popped, and I was in excruciating pain. I hobbled to where I could sit and tried not to cry like a kid. Working hard at it, I put on the happiest face I could, told everyone I was okay—just had a little twinge—and later kissed everyone goodbye.

 

 

 

Three days later I limped into an orthopedic doctor’s office using a cane leftover from my hubby’s knee replacement surgery. The doctor sent me down the hall for x-rays, and when I came back to his office he pulled up the images on his computer and took a good, long look.

 

 

 

“You’ve got very nice bones,” Dr. Suddenly-Wonderful said.

Sure, I would have liked it better if the young, deliciously blue-eyed doctor had said I had nice legs, but at my age a compliment is a compliment, and I was glad to hear it. It infused a little air into my long-forgotten, deflated ego.

I limped out of the doctor’s office with a diagnosis of a bad sprain, my pain no less than when I’d arrived. But I walked with a hint of a smile plastered on my face. After all, somewhere under this old, rusty body was a chassis made of smokin’-hot babe bones. And that just made my day

 

If you’ve enjoyed this short, satirical piece on aging and would like to read more from an author with very nice bones, visit my Amazon page at https://amazon.com/author/ireneonorato